Social Media, You Savage Muse

This is a confession:

I suffer from severe FOMO (Fear of missing out).  This is a debilitating ailment.  The struggle is real.  
Am I making the most of my time?  
No.  The answer is no.  
Hold steady.  Don't panic.  Keep the ship afloat.  Save money.  
Oh, social media, you savage muse.  

We post the best moments of our lives and shove it in aquaintances faces.  
Compare yourself, we demand.  
Am I making the most of my time?  No.  
Vanessa is clearly having more fun.  I hate myself.  
We musn't compare.  Our happiness should not be dependent on others.  
I should have went to that concert.  
Why am I not in Jamaica?  Vanessa is in Jamaica, that bitch.  It's freezing here.  
Am I making the most of my time?  Who is to say?  
Fuckin' Vanessa.
Create your own happiness.  Be healthy.  Get some exercise.  Eat cake for breakfast (I bet Vanessa didn't eat cake for breakfast).  What did she have?  A health shake?  I'm fat.  She would never sleep with me.  

I'll have Ice cream for lunch.  That is good for a few likes on facebook.
"Oh, that Brian," people will say.  "He is so cool he eats ice cream as a meal."
"He is at Purple Door Ice Cream?!  I love Purple Door Ice Cream!"
All I can taste is the jealousy.  It's better than chocolate.
How can I induce more envy?